Questions About Camarillo Hospice Patient/Family Services

Q: How can Camarillo Hospice help?

A: We provide professional counseling to equip families to care for the patient. In addition, we also help the patient deal with his or her illness and grief; volunteer support to provide respite or "time out" for families to leave the hospital or home setting, telephone assurance, friendly visits, transportation and practical help; information and referrals regarding community resources.

Our patient and family services are varied and individualized to the patient. All programs and services of Camarillo Hospice are geared toward the patient’s psychological and emotional comfort. Studies have shown that emotional pain directly affects physical pain. The end of life raises many questions, fears, uncertainties and needs. By assisting the patient and his or her family and caregiver(s) address and accept these often overwhelming facts of life, without judgment and free of preconceived personal beliefs, Camarillo Hospice can help bring a sense of peace and acceptance to people in troubled, difficult, fearful times.

Our Friendly Visitor program specifically is geared toward the chronically ill and those who are homebound (whether in their own home or at a facility) and in need of an extended support network. We also offer Oral History, Supper Club and Healing Music programs.

Q: My husband has just been given a diagnosis of a terminal illness, wants to remain at home, and needs help with nursing care and pain and symptom management. Do you provide these services?

A: We provide practical, emotional and respite care to patients and families. For nursing and medical services, we can put you in touch with a medical hospice, which offers the full range of nursing care and pain and symptom management to patients who meet the criteria of a life expectancy of six months or less and are referred by their doctors. Their costs are often covered by Medicare and other insurance plans.

Q: How is Camarillo Hospice different from the medical model hospice?

A: Camarillo is different in that we do not charge for our services; physician referrals are not required, referrals may be made by the patient, doctor, family, friends or caregiver; a six month prognosis is not required, anyone with a life-limiting diagnosis is eligible for our services. The patient does not have to give up radiation or chemotherapy treatments.

When medical support is necessary, we continue our volunteer services and function as a team.

Q: My husband is dealing with a serious chronic illness, possibly 1 to 2 years prognosis and we are not ready for the medical model hospice. I have been caregiver to my husband 4 years and I am feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. Can Camarillo Hospice help me?

A: We provide support to the patient, caregivers and family members early in the course of the disease at a time when this intervention can be most helpful in establishing a patient and family centered approach to end-of-life care.

Caregiver burnout is a normal response to the stress of caregiving. Balancing your needs with the needs of the person in your care can make you a more effective care provider. You do not have to struggle alone. Support and relief are available from Camarillo Hospice volunteers who can provide: respite (giving you "time out" to leave the home or hospital); telephone reassurance; friendly visiting; transportation; practical help; counseling.

Questions From Those Who Are Grieving

Q: I feel utterly lonely and empty. I don't feel like eating or going to work. Will this ever go away?

A: A person you loved has died. Even that reality may seem distant and confusing at times, because the first feelings are often those of shock, numbness, and disbelief. You may find that your feelings overwhelm you, or that you avoid feeling anything at all. Often the only way to grasp the awful truth of what has happened is little by little, hurt by hurt. It is important to let yourself experience all these painful feelings -- that is the "work" of grieving -- so that you may, over time, return to life. Although mourning never really ends, the intensity of the grief reactions will gradually lessen. For example, a favorite song may still bring a moment of sadness, but it no longer disrupts your whole life.

Q: Am I crazy?

A: Many people wonder if they're going a little crazy as they grieve. You may have physical symptoms such as tightness in your throat or a literal pain in your heart, dizziness or shakiness, stomachaches or headaches. You may have no appetite, or a huge one. You may find it hard to sleep, or you may sleep much more than normal.. You may feel unusually restless, moving from one place to another without finishing an activity. You may search for the one who has died, even though you know they will not be back. You may also lose track of what day or even what month it is. And you may think that you see your loved one on the street or hear his or her footsteps in the house. These are all common reactions that may lead you to question your sanity. But you are reacting normally to an abnormal event in your life.

Q: Why did this happen to me?

A: This is a question you must ask over and over again. Though you may never find an answer, it is still important to wrestle with the questions. Eventually, you will be ready to give up the search. When you can willingly let go of the need to as "why" it will lose its hold over you, but it will take time.

Q: Family and friends tell me that crying won't help.

A: There is no single right way to grieve. You may grieve with many tears, or few tears, or no tears. Some people will grieve without talking about it a lot. If you're good at crying, then cry. If you're a writer, try writing. It's better to let your feelings flow out of you, rather than stuffing them inside. You can express your grief with music, artwork, physical activity, doing something that reminds you of the one you love, prayer, and many other ways. Find the ones that work for you. When one suffers a great loss, it is a sign of strength -- not weakness -- to be able to express emotions.

Q: What helps to ease the grief process?

A: Here are several helpful suggestions:

• Accept the ups and downs of grief. Take time to cry or express in some way.

• Talk about your loss. If a friend tells you to "snap out of it", find another friend.

• Eat well. Grief stresses the body. You need good nourishment now more than ever.

• Exercise regularly. Exercise facilitates biochemical changes and helps you to sleep.

• Nurture yourself. Do something good for yourself each day.

• Deal with guilt, real or imagined. If it continues, seek professional or religious help.

• Join a group of others who are sorrowing. You will feel understood and make friends

• Postpone major decisions. If possible, wait to sell the house or change jobs.

• Turn grief into creative energy. Honor your loved one by helping someone else.

• Get professional help if needed. Sometimes just a few sessions can help a lot.